WE
ARE OUR PAST:
I
Am The Sum Total of My Past
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| Part
I: OUR HOUSE |
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We do the things we do...
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We think the way we think...
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We are what we are...
BECAUSE of our Past.
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When we were born, we were like
a clear, clean whiteboard.
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Everyone and everything makes
a mark on us.
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Our board begins to fill up.
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We begin to establish a pattern
of thought and of behavior.
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Our Personality, Strengths
and Weaknesses develop.
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Experiences mark us and
form us for better or for worse.
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We make judgements about
people,
values, everything based on the inputs we receive.
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Slowly, all these inputs, especially
the CONSISTENT ones come together to form PATTERNS OF THOUGHTS AND BEHAVIOUR.
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All of which comes together
to form our values and the HOUSE we must live in for years to come.
The fact is, our house is
built by others. By Events mostly not of our doing.
"What
lies behind us and what lies
before
us are tiny matters compared
to what
lies within us."
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It is a house that oftentimes
become a jail cell that imprisons us in a particular way of thinking and
of behavior.
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It is a house of many fears
and insecurities, as well as, powerful memories. Some good, some bad, some
ugly but having an impact on the way we live.
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Mostly by the time we become
adults, we are living in a house that others built, a house that
gives us joy or pain, or a little of both.
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A house that we like or despise.
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A house where we feel comfortable
and happy or insecure and angry.
If we look closely at our
house
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What is it made of?
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What is its style, its decor
like?
Who built and what is in
our house?
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| Here are a few things
you might consider...
Reflect on how you feel about
them and what kind of behavior patterns you exhibit in relation to:
- Fears (all kinds)... Parents...
Family (brothers and sisters)... Friends... Relationships (with others)...
Security (emotional and financial)... Wealth... Career... Dependence...
Independence... Love... your Values... your Personality... Generosity...
Poverty... Country... Religion... School... Sex... Shyness... the list
goes on.
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"You cannot have
a true and meaningful
relationship if you don't open up!"
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| Part II:
CHANGE |
You need not accept your
house as it is.
You can change it!
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Knock down some walls!
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Rearrange the furniture!
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Change the decor!
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You many even want to build
annexes and bulldoze parts of your house!
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Perhaps add a garden to beautify
it!
When you were a child...
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You had little choice in the
matter.
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Unable to discern.
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Unwilling victim of people and
circumstances.
Now that you are an
adult...
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Take charge of your life and
rebuild!
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Modify or preserve your old
house!
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Build your own housekeeping
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retain what is of value
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discard what is negative, burdensome
and destructive!
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This
is the beginning of a new day.
You
have been given this day to use
as you
will. You can waste it or use
it for
good. What you do today is
important
because you are
exchanging
a day of your life for it.
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First, recognize what you
treasure and why?
Then, reinforce those patterns
by repeating them as often as possible.
To change what you don't
like in your house, you must BREAK old patterns.
You can do this by reversing
trends, doing the opposite.
It takes courage, determination
and consistency to change but the rewards are great.
It is very possible for
you to build your NEW HOUSE.
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What is needed is a vision
-- of your old house...
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and a blue
print for your New House.
Then, the courage
to move forward. |
"They
can, who believe they can."
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| Part III:
IMPACT
YOU HAVE ON OTHERS |
"A
hundred years from now it will not
matter
what my bank account was,
the
sort of house I lived in, or the
kind
of car I drove...but the world
may
be different because I was
important
in the life of a child."
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BE AWARE You are building
the houses of others too.
One word, an action is enough
to mark a person for better or worse.
For example, Teachers...
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You spend as much (and sometimes
more) waking hours with the children than their parents.
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You are having an impact on
them whether or not you know it, want it or care about it.
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You are building their Houses.
If yours is a beautiful work of art, then you are living up to your noble
profession and the children will be grateful as your work lives on them
for a lifetime.
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If on the other hand, you damage
them, that hurt will have to dealt with later, as the child will carry
his damaged heart throughout his life.
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You need to be constantly aware
of the IMPACT (positive or negative) that you are having on your
students.
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| --- |
 Effects
of Emotional Abuse
Physical scars and broken bones can heal, but emotional scars last
a limetime, and may go untreated for many years because they are unseen.
Emotional abuse clearly cut across racial, ethnic and economic lines. Like
physical abuse, emotional abuse is often generational: abusers mirror their
own parents' techniques for dealing with children. Until they learn more
effective ways to handle their own stress, the pattern will be passed down
the line indefinitely from parent to child.
Emotional abuse may take the form of name calling, labeling, ignoring of
positive behavior, neglecting psychological needs, or exploiting of the
child for the parent's own gratification.
Exploitation, for instance, may take place in homes where sick or disabled
parents place their children in "caretaker" roles that rob them of normal,
rewarding childhood activities. Forced to accept such heavy responsibilities,
children often become "pleasers," unable to give or receive unconditional
love. |
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